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December 2nd, 2009

Lets Talk

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One big dark room
She scratches at her pillow and
I promptly force a smile to crack my
Glum face
I wont go down without a fight
I wont give up
I wont tangle you in my thoughts
I wont cry myself to sleep
Anymore
Without you is somewhere I
Will
Always
Be
Which is fine with you
As long as it’s not fine
With me.

Sometimes I love you like I did a million years ago
And sometimes I hate you more than my step-father
Lets talk sometime.

November 28th, 2009

Where does the good go?

Add to Memories Tell a Friend
One big dark room
I can’t believe how little we care about our children and our children’s children and our children’s children’s children. We truly are a species without foresight. Being able to look into the future is not as hard as we think. It’s like nobody in this world has ever heard of the term “learn from your mistakes”.

As people, we conduct ourselves in a certain way based on the mistakes of those who have come before us. In thousands of years, when many more mistakes have been made, the human race will be better evolved. Possibly able to see into the future. Knowing basic cause and effect now imagine how much more developed our sense of cause and effect will be in 100,000 years. We will be able to determine the future based on past mistakes. We will have a 6th sense allowing us to assess the cause and effect before it happens. And it wont be a meaningless prediction, such as global warming will eventually destroy the planet. We know this, yet we continue contributing to the demise of our planet. This 6th sense will not be knowledge-based, it will be feelings based. Soon, our minds will begin to subconsciously realise knowledge is not a strong enough tool to aid us in survival. If anything, knowledge and power are contributing factors that will lead to the end of the human race. Our foresight will begin to develop and we will be able to make accurate predictions about the future of our species and the planet on which we dwell.

November 14th, 2009

Doppelganger

Add to Memories Tell a Friend
One big dark room
I felt cold the last time
I did this
Like feigning feelings for
A forgotten
Love I try to keep you
Here but sometimes I just
Don’t know how
Or what to reference to make myself
Seem in touch, well versed or
Smarter than is actually me
Frankly, I could give a fuck
If it could just work out
With a bit of luck
I’ll remember who I am.

I will read again, I will write
I will play again and I will try
To make myself remember
How it use to be.

October 19th, 2009

Sacrilege by AFI

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One big dark room
I'm never gonna understand this.
I'm never gonna let it be.
I just can't understand this aged plan.
It's obsolete.

How could you recognize and cherish
Hysteric fairy tales?
They've come to life.
Now sit by and listen...
The whole world wails.

I feel as though I've been abducted,
Or maybe I am just misplaced,
As I watch these rash hysterics
Lay to waste the human race.

Just ask them if the sky will open
And save us from the truth.
They say that they'd leave today just without,
Without you.

Is this one big joke?
I can only hope.
Say your prayers,
They're the final punch line.

I don't see the love
Below or above.
I see you're scared well
I feel fine.

Oh please believe
(Oh Please believe)
I'm doing just fine.
For what's deceased
I shall never grieve.
Just let your faith die.
Die!

I feel I have been abandoned.
I alone seem to see disgrace as
I watch these mad dogmatics govern our
Entire race.

Don't tell them you can walk on water
Or they may drink your blood.
Why live for pain,
In the name
The name of
The name of love?

I can only hope
This is one big joke
With your prayers as
The final punch line.

How is it divine
When it's flawed design?
Fill the cracks with
Faith I can't find.

Oh please believe
(Oh Please believe)
I'm doing just fine.
For what's deceased
I shall never grieve.
Just let your faith die.

Screaming for pure love
You venerate
Delusion based in hate.
Bleeding from pure love
For this I pray:
We've got to shake the faith.
Shake the faith
Oh

Oh please...

Oh please believe
(Oh Please believe)
I'm doing just fine.
For what's deceased
I shall never grieve.
Just let your faith die.

Oh please believe
(Oh Please believe)
I'm doing just fine.
For what's deceased
I shall never grieve.
Just let your faith die.
Die!

September 30th, 2009

[S#] = Source - [M] = *More information - [D] = Debate Issues

Part One: The Greatest Story Ever Told

This is the sun. As far back as 10 thousand B.C.E., history is abundant with carvings [M] and writings reflecting people's respect and adoration for this object [S1]. And it is simple to understand why as every morning the sun would rise, bringing vision, warmth, and security, saving man from the cold, blind, predator-filled darkness of night. Without it, the cultures understood, the crops would not grow, and life on the planet would not survive. These realities made the sun the most adored object of all time.[M] Likewise, they were also very aware of the stars.[M] The tracking of the stars allowed them to recognize and anticipate events which occurred over long periods of time, such as eclipses and full moons.[M] They in turn catalogued celestial groups into what we know today as constellations.[S2]

This is the cross of the Zodiac, one of the oldest conceptual images in human history. [M] It reflects the sun as it figuratively passes through the 12 major constellations over the course of a year. It also reflects the 12 months of the year, the 4 seasons, and the solstices and equinoxes [S3] . The term Zodiac relates to the fact that constellations were anthropomorphized, or personified, as figures, or animals.[S4] [M]

In other words, the early civilizations did not just follow the sun and stars, they personified them with elaborate myths involving their movements and relationships. [S5] [M] The sun, with its life-giving and -saving qualities was personified as a representative of the unseen creator or god...[M]"God's Sun,"[M] the light of the world, the savior of human kind.[S6] Likewise, the 12 constellations represented places of travel for God's Sun and were identified by names, usually representing elements of nature that happened during that period of time. For example, Aquarius, the water bearer, who brings the Spring rains.[S7] [M] [D]

This is Horus.[M] He is the Sun God of Egypt of around 3000 BC [S8] [D]. He is the sun, anthropomorphized, and his life is a series of allegorical myths involving the sun's movement in the sky. [S9] [S10] [M] From the ancient hieroglyphics in Egypt, we know much about this solar messiah. For instance, Horus, being the sun, or the light, had an enemy known as Set and Set [D] was the personification of the darkness or night .[M] [S11] And, metaphorically speaking, every morning Horus would win the battle against Set - while in the evening, Set would conquer Horus and send him into the underworld. [S12] [S13] It is important to note that "dark vs. light" or "good vs. evil" is one of the most ubiquitous mythological dualities ever known and is still expressed on many levels to this day.

Broadly speaking, the story of Horus is as follows: Horus was born on December 25th [S14] [S15] of the virgin Isis-Meri.[S16] [S17] [S18] [D] [M] His birth was accompanied by a star in the east [S19], which in turn, three kings followed to locate and adorn the new-born savior [M] [S20] [S21] At the age of 12, he was a prodigal child teacher, and at the age of 30 [S22] [S23] he was baptized by a figure known as Anup [M] and thus began his ministry[S24] [M]. Horus had 12 disciples[S25] he traveled about with, performing miracles[S26] [S27]such as healing the sick[S28] and walking on water[S29]. Horus was known by many gestural names such as The Truth, The Light, God's Annointed Son, The Good Shepherd, The Lamb of God, and many others[S30] [S31]. After being betrayed by Typhon[S32], Horus was crucified[S33] [S34], buried for 3 days[S35], and thus, resurrected.[S36] [S37] [M].

These attributes of Horus, whether original or not, seem to permeate in many cultures of the world, for many other gods are found to have the same general mythological structure.

Attis, of Phyrigia, born of the virgin Nana on December 25th, crucified, placed in a tomb and after 3 days, was resurrected.
[S38] [S39] [S40] [S41] [S42] [S43] [M] [D]

Krishna, of India, born of the virgin Devaki with a star in the east signaling his coming, performed miracles with his disciples, and upon his death was resurrected.
[S44] [S45] [S46] [S47] [S48] [M] [M2] [D]

Dionysus of Greece, born of a virgin on December 25th, was a traveling teacher who performed miracles such as turning water into wine, he was referred to as the "King of Kings," "God's Only Begotten Son," "The Alpha and Omega," and many others, and upon his death, he was resurrected.
[S49] [S50] [S51] [S52] [S53] [M]

Mithra, of Persia, born of a virgin on December 25th, he had 12 disciples and performed miracles, and upon his death was buried for 3 days and thus resurrected, he was also referred to as "The Truth," "The Light," and many others. Interestingly, the sacred day of worship of Mithra was Sunday.
[S54] [S55] [S56] [S57] [S58] [M]

The fact of the matter is there are numerous saviors, from different periods, from all over the world, which subscribe to these general characteristics. The question remains: why these attributes, why the virgin birth on December 25th, why dead for three days and the inevitable resurrection, why 12 disciples or followers? [M] To find out, let's examine the most recent of the solar messiahs.

Jesus Christ was born of the virgin Mary on December 25th [D] in Bethlehem, his birth was announced by a star in the east, which three kings or magi followed to locate and adorn the new savior.[D] He was a child teacher at 12, at the age of 30 he was baptized by John the Baptist, and thus began his ministry. Jesus had 12 disciples which he traveled about with performing miracles such as healing the sick, walking on water, raising the dead, he was also known as the "King of Kings," the "Son of God," the "Light of the World," the "Alpha and Omega," the "Lamb of God," and many others. After being betrayed by his disciple Judas and sold for 30 pieces of silver, he was crucified, placed in a tomb and after 3 days was resurrected and ascended into Heaven.[S59]

First of all, the birth sequence is completely astrological. The star in the east is Sirius, the brightest star in the night sky, which, on December 24th, aligns with the 3 brightest stars in Orion's Belt. [S60] [M] These 3 bright stars are called today what they were called in ancient times: The Three Kings.[S61] [S62] The Three Kings and the brightest star, Sirius, all point to the place of the sunrise on December 25th.[S63] [M] This is why the Three Kings "follow" the star in the east, in order to locate the sunrise -- the birth of the sun.[S64] [M]

The Virgin Mary is the constellation Virgo, [S65] also known as Virgo the Virgin. Virgo in Latin means virgin. The ancient glyph for Virgo is the altered "m". This is why Mary along with other virgin mothers, such as Adonis's mother Myrrha [S66], or Buddha's mother Maya [S67] begin with an M.[S68] [M] Virgo is also referred to as the House of Bread [S69] [S70], and the representation of Virgo is a virgin holding a sheaf of wheat. This House of Bread and its symbol of wheat represents August and September, the time of harvest. [D] In turn, Bethlehem, in fact, literally translates to "house of bread". [M] [S71] Bethlehem is thus a reference to the constellation Virgo , a place in the sky, not on Earth.[M] [S72]

There is another very interesting phenomenon that occurs around December 25th, or the winter solstice. From the summer solstice to the winter solstice, the days become shorter and colder. From the perspective of the northern hemisphere, the sun appears to move south and get smaller and more scarce. The shortening of the days and the expiration of the crops when approaching the winter solstice symbolized the process of death to the ancients. It was the death of the Sun. [S73] By December 22nd, the Sun's demise was fully realized, for the Sun, having moved south continually for 6 months, makes it to it's lowest point in the sky. Here a curious thing occurs: the Sun stops moving south, at least perceivably, for 3 days.[S74] [M] During this 3 day pause, the Sun resides in the vicinity of the Southern Cross, or Crux, constellation.[S75] [S76] [M] And after this time on December 25th, the Sun moves 1 degree, this time north, foreshadowing longer days, warmth, and Spring.[S77] And thus it was said: the Sun died on the cross, [D] was dead for 3 days, only to be resurrected or born again.[S78] [S79]This is why Jesus and numerous other Sun Gods share the crucifixion, 3-day death, and resurrection concept. [S80] [M] It is the Sun's transition period before it shifts its direction back into the Northern Hemisphere, bringing Spring, and thus salvation.[S81] [S82] [M]

However, they did not celebrate the resurrection of the Sun until the spring equinox, or Easter. This is because at the spring equinox, the Sun officially overpowers the evil darkness, as daytime thereafter becomes longer in duration than night, and the revitalizing conditions of spring emerge.[M] [S83]

Now, probably the most obvious of all the astrological symbolism around Jesus regards the 12 disciples. They are simply the 12 constellations of the Zodiac, which Jesus, being the Sun, travels about with. [S84] [S85] [S86] [S87] [M]

In fact, the number 12 is replete throughout the Bible. [M]

Coming back to the cross of the Zodiac, the figurative life of the Sun, this was not just an artistic expression or tool to track the Sun's movements. It was also a Pagan spiritual symbol, [S88] the shorthand of which looked like this. [S89] This is not a symbol of Christianity. [M] It is a Pagan adaptation of the cross of the Zodiac. [S90] [S91] This is why Jesus in early occult art is always shown with his head on the cross, for Jesus is the Sun, the Sun of God, the Light of the World, [S92] the Risen Savior, [S93] who will "come again,"[S94] as it does every morning, the Glory of God [S95] who defends against the works of darkness,[S96] as he is "born again" [S97] every morning, and can be seen "coming in the clouds,"[S98] "up in Heaven,"[S99]with his "Crown of Thorns,"[S100] or, sun rays.

Now, of the many astrological-astronomical metaphors in the Bible, one of the most important has to do with the ages. Throughout the scripture there are numerous references to the "Age." In order to understand this, we need to be familiar with the phenomenon known as the precession of the equinoxes. The ancient Egyptians along with cultures long before them recognized that approximately every 2150 [D] years the sunrise on the morning of the spring equinox would occur at a different sign of the Zodiac. [M] This has to do with a slow angular wobble that the Earth maintains as it rotates on it's axis.It is called a precession because the constellations go backwards, rather than through the normal yearly cycle. [S101] The amount of time that it takes for the precession to go through all 12 signs is roughly 25,765 years. [S102] This is also called the "Great Year," [S103] and ancient societies were very aware of this. They referred to each 2150 year period as an "age." From 4300 b.c. to 2150 b.c., it was the Age of Taurus, the Bull. From 2150 b.c. to 1 a.d., it was the Age of Aries, the Ram, and from 1 a.d. to 2150 a.d. it is the Age of Pisces, the age we are still in to this day, and in and around 2150, we will enter the new age: the Age of Aquarius. [S104] [S105]

Now, the Bible reflects, broadly speaking, a symbolic movement through 3 ages, while foreshadowing a 4th. In the Old Testament when Moses comes down Mount Sinai with the 10 Commandments, he is very upset to see his people worshiping a golden bull calf.[S106] In fact, he shattered the stone tablets and instructed his people to kill each other in order to purify themselves. [S107] Most Biblical scholars would attribute this anger to the fact that the Israelites were worshiping a false idol, [S108] or something to that effect. The reality is that the golden bull is Taurus the Bull, and Moses represents the new Age of Aries the Ram. [S109] [M] This is why Jews even today still blow the Ram's horn. [S110] [M] Moses represents the new Age of Aries, [S111] and upon the new age, everyone must shed the old age. Other deities mark these transitions as well, a pre-Christian god who kills the bull, in the same symbology. [S112] [S113] [M]

Now Jesus is the figure who ushers in the age following Aries, the Age of Pisces the Two Fish.[S114] [S115] [M] Fish symbolism is very abundant in the New Testament. Jesus feeds 5000 people with bread and "2 fish." [S116] When he begins his ministry walking along Galilei, he befriends 2 fisherman, who follow him. [S117] [M] And I think we've all seen the Jesus-fish on the backs of people's cars. Little do they know what it actually means. It is a Pagan astrological symbolism for the Sun's Kingdom during the Age of Pisces.[S118] [M] Also, Jesus' assumed birth date is essentially the start of this age.

At Luke 22:10 when Jesus is asked by his disciples where the next passover will be, Jesus replied: "Behold, when ye are entered into the city, there shall a man meet you bearing a pitcher of water... follow him into the house where he entereth in." This scripture is by far one of the most revealing of all the astrological references. The man bearing a pitcher of water is Aquarius, the water-bearer, who is always pictured as a man pouring out a pitcher of water. [S119] He represents the age after Pisces, and when the Sun (God's Sun) leaves the Age of Pisces (Jesus), it will go into the House of Aquarius, as Aquarius follows Pisces in the precession of the equinoxes. Also Jesus is saying is that after the Age of Pisces will come the Age of Aquarius. [S120] [M]

Now, we have all heard about the end times and the end of the world. Apart from the cartoonish depictions in the Book of Revelation, the main source of this idea comes from Matthew 28:20, where Jesus says "I will be with you even to the end of the world." [S121] However, in King James Version, "world" is a mistranslation, among many mistranslations. The actual word being used is "aeon", which means "age." "I will be with you even to the end of the age." Which is true, as Jesus' Solar Piscean personification will end when the Sun enters the Age of Aquarius. [S122] The entire concept of end times and the end of the world is a misinterpreted astrological allegory.[S123] [S124] [S125] [S126] [S127] [M] Let's tell that to the approximately 100 million people in America who believe the end of the world is coming.

Furthermore, the character of Jesus, a literary and astrological hybrid, is most explicitly a plagiarization of the Egyptian Sun-god Horus.[S128] [S129] [S130] [S131]For example, inscribed about 3500 years, on the walls of the Temple of Luxor in Egypt are images of the enunciation, the immaculate conception, the birth, and the adoration of Horus. [S132] The images begin with Thaw announcing to the virgin Isis that she will conceive Horus, then Nef the holy ghost impregnating the virgin, and then the virgin birth and the adoration.[S133] [S134] [M] This is exactly the story of Jesus' miracle conception. In fact, the literary similarities between the Egyptian religion and the Christian religion are staggering. [M] [S135]

And the plagiarism is continuous. The story of Noah and Noah's Ark is taken directly from tradition. The concept of a Great Flood is ubiquitous throughout the ancient world, with over 200 different cited claims in different periods and times. [S136] [S137] [M] However, one need look no further for a pre-Christian source than the Epic of Gilgamesh,[S138] [S139] written in 2600 b.c. This story talks of a Great Flood commanded by God, an Ark with saved animals upon it, and even the release and return of a dove, all held in common with the biblical story, among many other similarities.[S140] [M]

And then there is the plagiarized story of Moses. Upon Moses' birth, it is said that he was placed in a reed basket and set adrift in a river in order to avoid infanticide. He was later rescued by a daughter of royalty and raised by her as a Prince.[S141] This baby in a basket story was lifted directly from the myth of Sargon of Akkad of around 2250 b.c. Sargon was born, placed in a reed basket in order to avoid infanticide, and set adrift in a river. He was in turn rescued and raised by Akki, a royal mid-wife.[S142] [S143] [M]

Furthermore, Moses is known as the Law Giver, the giver of the Ten Commandments,[S144] the Mosaic Law. However, the idea of a Law being passed from God to a prophet on a mountain is also a very old motif. Moses is just a law giver in a long line of law givers in mythological history. [S145] In India, Manou was the great law giver. [S146] In Crete, Minos ascended Mount Dicta, where Zeus gave him the sacred laws. [S147] While in Egypt there was Mises, [S148] who carried stone tablets and upon them the laws of god were written.

And as far as the Ten Commandments, they are taken outright from Spell 125 of the Egyptian Book of the Dead. [S149] What the Book of the Dead phrased "I have not stolen" became "Thou shall not steal," "I have not killed" became "Thou shall not kill," "I have not told lies" became "Thou shall not bear false witness" and so forth. [S150] In fact, the Egyptian religion is likely the primary foundational basis for the Judeo-Christian theology. [M] Baptism, [S151] afterlife,[S152] final judgment, [S153] virgin birth [S154] and resurrection, [S155] crucifixion, [S156] the ark of the covenant, [S157]circumcision, [S158] [S159] saviors,[S160] holy communion, [S161] the great flood, [S162] Easter, [S163] Christmas [S164] [S165] , Passover, [S166] and many many more, are all attributes of Egyptian ideas, long predating Christianity and Judaism.

Justin Martyr, one of the first Christian historians and defenders, wrote: "When we say that he, Jesus Christ, our teacher, was produced without sexual union, was crucified and died, and rose again, and ascended into Heaven, we propound nothing different from what you believe regarding those who you esteem Sons of Jupiter." [S167] In a different writing, Justin Martyr said "He was born of a virgin, accept this in common with what you believe of Perseus." [S168] It's obvious that Justin and other early Christians knew how similar Christianity was to the Pagan religions. However, Justin had a solution. As far as he was concerned, the Devil did it. The Devil had the foresight to come before Christ, and create these characteristics in the Pagan world. [S169]

The Bible is nothing more than an astro-theological literary fold hybrid, just like nearly all religious myths before it. [S170] [S171] [S172] [S173] [S174]In fact, the aspect of transference, of one character's attributes to a new character, can be found within the book itself. In the Old Testament there's the story of Joseph. Joseph was a prototype for Jesus. Joseph was born of a miracle birth, [S175] Jesus was born of a miracle birth. [S176] Joseph was of 12 brothers, [S177] Jesus had 12 disciples. [S178] Joseph was sold for 20 pieces of silver, [S179]Jesus was sold for 30 pieces of silver. [S180] Brother "Judah" suggests the sale of Joseph, [S181] disciple "Judas" suggests the sale of Jesus. [S182] Joseph began his work at the age of 30, [S183]Jesus began his work at the age of 30. [S184] The parallels go on and on.

Furthermore, is there any non-Biblical historical evidence of any person, living with the name Jesus, the Son of Mary, who traveled about with 12 followers, healing people and the like? There are numerous historians who lived in and around the Mediterranean either during or soon after the assumed life of Jesus.[S185] How many of these historians document this figure? Not one. [S186] However, to be fair, that doesn't mean defenders of the Historical Jesus haven't claimed the contrary. Four historians are typically referenced to justify Jesus's existence. Pliny the younger, Suetonius, Tacitus and the first three. [M] [S187] Each one of their entries consists of only a few sentences at best and only refer to the Christus or the Christ, which in fact is not name but a title. It means the "Anointed one" [S188] The fourth source is Josephus and this source has been proven to be a forgery for hundreds of years.[S189] Sadly, it is still cited as truth.

You would think that a guy who rose from the dead and ascended into Heaven for all eyes to see and performed the wealth of miracles acclaimed to him would have made it into the historical record. It didn't because once the evidence is weighed, there are very high odds that the figure known as Jesus, did not even exist.[S190] [S191] [S192] [S193]

The reality is, Jesus was the Solar Deity of the Gnostic Christian sect, [S194] [S195] [S196] and like all other Pagan gods, he was a mythical figure. It was the political establishment that sought to historize the Jesus figure for social control. By 325 a.d. in Rome, emperor Constantine convened the Council of Nicea. [S197] It was during this meeting that the politically motivated Christian Doctrines were established and thus began a long history of Christian bloodshed and spiritual fraud. And for the next 1600 years, the Vatican maintained a political stranglehold on all of Europe, leading to such joyous periods as the Dark Ages, along with enlightening events such as the Crusades, and the Inquisition.

Christianity, along with all other theistic belief systems, is the fraud of the age. It serves to detach the species from the natural world, and likewise, each other. It supports blind submission to authority. It reduces human responsibility to the effect that "God" controls everything, and in turn awful crimes can be justified in the name of Divine Pursuit. And most importantly, it empowers those who know the truth but use the myth to manipulate and control societies. The religious myth is the most powerful device ever created, and serves as the psychological soil upon which other myths can flourish.

[S1] - Singh, Madanjeet: 'The Sun- Symbol of Power and Life, UNESCO Pub., 1993
[S2] - Krupp, Edwin: In Search of Ancient Astronomies, Mcgraw-Hill, 1979
[S3] - Carpenter, Edward: Pagan and Christian Creeds, DODO Press, Chaper III: "The Symbolism of the Zodiac
[S4] - Hall, Manly P.: The Secret Teachings of All Ages, 1928. Page 53-56 [Chapter: "The Zodiac and Its Signs]
[S5] - Carpenter, Edward: Pagan & Christian Creeds, 1920. Page 36-53 [Chaper III: "The Symbolism of the Zodiac]
[S6] - Acharya S.: Suns of God, Adventures Unlimited Press, 2004. Page 60-85 [Chaper III: "The Sun God"]
[S7] - Hazelrigg, John.: The Sun Book, Health Research, 1971. Page 43
[S8] - Acharya S.: Suns of God, Adventures Unlimited Press, 2004. Page 86-95
[S9] - Olcott, William Tyler : Suns Lore of All Ages, The Book Tree, 1914. Page 157
[S10] - Mackenzie, Donald: Egyption Myth and Legend, 1907 Page 163
[S11] - Churchward, Albert: The Origin & Evolution of Religion, Page 48, 51
[S12] - Acharya S.: Suns of God, Adventures Unlimited Press, 2004. Page 92, 113
[S13] - Acharya S.: The Christ Conspiracy, Adventures Unlimited Press, 1999. Page 257-259
[S14] - Massey, Gerald.: The Historical Jesus and the Mythical Christ, The Book Tree, . Page 39-40
[S15] - Septehenses, Clerk De.: Religions. of the Ancient. Greeks, p. 214.
[S16] - Doane, Thomas.: Bible Myths and Their Parallels in Other Religions, p. 327-328
[S17] - Massey, Gerald.: The Historical Jesus and the Mythical Christ, The Book Tree, . Page 40
[S18] - Hall, Manly P.: The Secret Teachings of All Ages, 1928. Page 53-56 [Chapter 7: "Isis, the Virgin of the World"]
[S19] - Massey, Gerald.: The Historical Jesus and the Mythical Christ, The Book Tree, . Page 12-13
[S20] - Jackson, John: Christianity before Christ, AAP, p111-113
[S21] -Walker, Barbara: Women's Encyplodia of Myths and Secrets, p. 748-754
[S22] - Massey, Gerald.: The Historical Jesus and the Mythical Christ, The Book Tree, . Pages 56-61
[S23] - Massey, Gerald.: Ancient Egypt The Light of The World ,Cosimo Classics, Pages 613-620
[S24] - Massey, Gerald. :Ancient Egypt The Light of The World ,Cosimo Classics, Pages 614
[S25] - Massey, Gerald.: Ancient Egypt The Light of The World ,Cosimo Classics, Pages 600-607
[S26] - Doane, Thomas.: Bible Myths and Their Parallels in Other Religions, p. 256, 273
[S27] - Massey, Gerald.: Ancient Egypt The Light of The World ,Cosimo Classics, Pages 623-661
[S28] - Massey, Gerald.: Ancient Egypt The Light of The World ,Cosimo Classics, Page 626
[S29] - Massey, Gerald.: The Historical Jesus and the Mythical Christ, The Book Tree, . Pages 74-75
[S30] - Acharya S.: The Christ Conspiracy, Adventures Unlimited Press, 1999. Page 115
[S31] - Massey, Gerald.: The Historical Jesus and the Mythical Christ, The Book Tree, . Pages 43-47
[S32] - Acharya S.: Suns of God , Adventures Unlimited Press, 2004. Page 93
[S33] - Churchward, Albert: The Origin & Evolution of Religion, Page 135
[S34] - Bonswick, James: Egyption Belief and Modern Thought, p. 157
[S35] - Massey, Gerald.: Ancient Egypt The Light of The World ,Cosimo Classics, Page 628-629
[S36] - Doane, Thomas: Bible Myths and Their Parallels in Other Religions, p. 222- 223
[S37] - Bonswick, James: Egyption Belief and Modern Thought, p. 150-155, 178
[S38] - Acharya S.: The Christ Conspiracy, Adventures Unlimited Press, 1999. Page 107-108
[S39] - Frazer, James.: The Golden Bough, Touchstone, 1963. Page 403-409
[S40] - Jackson, John: Christianity before Christ, AAP, p. 67
[S41] - Doane, Thomas: Bible Myths and Their Parallels in Other Religions, p. 190-191
[S42] - Berry, Gerald: Religions of the World, B&N, p.20
[S43] - Weigall, Arthur: The Paganism in our Christianity, Thames & Hudson, 1999 p115-116
[S44] - Carpenter, Edward: Pagan and Christian Creeds, p 12
[S45] - Acharya S.: Suns of God , Adventures Unlimited Press, 2004. Chapter 7
[S46] - Doane, Thomas: Bible Myths and Their Parallels in Other Religions, p. 113-115
[S47] - Wilkes, Charles (translator): Bhagavat-Geeta, 1785 p 52
[S48] - Doane, Thomas: Bible Myths and Their Parallels in Other Religions, p. 278-288
[S49] - Freke & Gandy: The Jesus Mysteries, Three Rivers Press, p. 29, 33, 38, 48, 56
[S50] - Frazer, James.: The Golden Bough, Touchstone, 1963. Page 451-452, 543
[S51] - Acharya S.: The Christ Conspiracy, Adventures Unlimited Press, 1999. Page 111-113
[S52] - Doane, Thomas: Bible Myths and Their Parallels in Other Religions, p. 193
[S53] - Weigall, Arthur: The Paganism in our Christianity, Thames & Hudson, 1999 p220-224
[S54] - Carpenter, Edward: Pagan and Christian Creeds, DODO Press, p10
[S55] - Freke & Gandy: The Jesus Mysteries, Three Rivers Press, p. 33, 42
[S56] - Frazer, James.: The Golden Bough, Touchstone, 1963. Page 415-420
[S57] - Doane, Thomas: Bible Myths and Their Parallels in Other Religions, p. 223
[S58] - Acharya S.: The Christ Conspiracy, Adventures Unlimited Press, 1999. Page 118-120
[S59] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman
[S60] - Carpenter, Edward: Pagan and Christian Creeds, DODO Press, p16-17
[S61] - Charles F. Dupuis : Origine de Tous les Cultes, Paris, 1822
[S62] - Massey, Gerald.: The Historical Jesus and the Mythical Christ, The Book Tree, . Pages 12-13
[S63] - Doane, Thomas: Bible Myths and Their Parallels in Other Religions, p. 140-146
[S64] - Irvin & Rutajit: Astrotheology and Shamanism, The Book Tree, Pages 25-26
[S65] - Carpenter, Edward: Pagan and Christian Creeds, DODO Press, p 17-18
[S66] - Frazer, James.: The Golden Bough, Touchstone, 1963. Page 391
[S67] - Moor, Edward, The Hindu Pantheon, Simpson, p154
[S68] - Maxwell, Tice, Snow: That Old-Time Religion,The Book Tree, p43
[S69] - Freke & Gandy: The Jesus Mysteries, Three Rivers Press, p. 33
[S70] - Massey, Gerald.: The Historical Jesus and the Mythical Christ, The Book Tree, . Pages 27
[S71] - Acharya S.: The Christ Conspiracy, Adventures Unlimited Press, 1999. Pages 189-190
[S72] - Acharya S.: Suns of God , Adventures Unlimited Press, 2004. p199,220-221,352-353
[S73] - Frazer, James.: The Golden Bough, Touchstone, 1963. Page 415-417
[S74] - Acharya S.: The Christ Conspiracy, Adventures Unlimited Press, 1999. Pages 154-155
[S75] - Massey, Gerald.: The Historical Jesus and the Mythical Christ, The Book Tree, . Pages 10, 98
[S76] - Maxwell, Tice, Snow: That Old-Time Religion,The Book Tree, p41
[S77] - Roy, S.B: Prehistoric Lunar Astronomy, Institute of Chronology, New Delhi, 1976 p.114
[S78] - Bonswick, James: Egyption Belief and Modern Thought, p. 174
[S79] - Doane, Thomas: Bible Myths and Their Parallels in Other Religions, p. 495-508
[S80] - Doane, Thomas: Bible Myths and Their Parallels in Other Religions, p. 483-492
[S81] - Olcott, William Tyler : Suns Lore of All Ages, The Book Tree, 1914. chapter IX
[S82] - Hall, Manly P.: The Secret Teachings of All Ages, 1928. Page 183
[S83] - Doane, Thomas: Bible Myths and Their Parallels in Other Religions, p. 496
[S84] - Acharya S.: The Christ Conspiracy, Adventures Unlimited Press, 1999. Pages 166-183
[S85] - Higgins, Godfrey: Anacalypsis, A&B Books. Pages 781-782
[S86] - Anderson, Karl: Astrology of the Old Testamate, Health Re. p18
[S87] - Jackson, John: Christianity before Christ, AAP, p. 185
[S88] - Campbell, Jospeh: Creative Mytholigy- The Masks of God, Penguin, p 24-25
[S89] - Churchward, Albert: The Origin & Evolution of Religion, p 363
[S90] - Acharya S.: The Christ Conspiracy, Adventures Unlimited Press, 1999. p.218
[S91] - Maxwell, Tice, Snow: That Old-Time Religion,The Book Tree, p41
[S92] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, John 9:5
[S93] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, Matthew 28:6
[S94] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman John 14:3
[S95] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, 2 Corinthians 4:6
[S96] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, Romans 13:12
[S97] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, John 3:3
[S98] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, Mark 13:26
[S99] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, John 3:13
[S100] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, John 19:5
[S101] - Hall, Manly P.: The Secret Teachings of All Ages, 1928. Page 53-54
[S102] - A.L. Berger; Obliquity & Precession for the last 5 million years; Astronomy & astrophysics (1976), p127
[S103] - Campion, Nicholas: The Great Year: Astrology, Millenarianism, and History in the Western Tradition, Penguin
[S104] - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Precession_of_the_equinoxes
[S105] - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_Aquarius
[S106] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, Exodus 32-34
[S107] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, Exodus 32:27
[S108] - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_calf#The_Sin_of_Idolatry
[S109] - Acharya S.: The Christ Conspiracy, Adventures Unlimited Press, 1999. p.146
[S110] -Wagner, Leopold: Manners, Customs, and Observances; Jewish Fasts and Festivals 1894 # 403
[S111] - Carpenter, Edward: Pagan and Christian Creeds, DODO Press, p16-17
[S112] - Acharya S.: Suns of God , Adventures Unlimited Press, 2004. p 127
[S113] - Hall, Manly P.: The Secret Teachings of All Ages, 1928. P 55
[S114] - Dowling, Eva S. A, Ph.D: Scribe to the Messenger, p 6
[S115] - Carpenter, Edward: Pagan and Christian Creeds, DODO Press, p 30
[S116] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, John 6:9-11
[S117] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, Matthew 4:19
[S118] - Acharya S.: The Christ Conspiracy, Adventures Unlimited Press, 1999. p.146
[S119] - Acharya S.: The Christ Conspiracy, Adventures Unlimited Press, 1999. p.146-147
[S120] - Leedom, Tim.: The Book your Church Doesnt Want You to Read, Truth Seeker,. p.25
[S121] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, Matthew 28:20
[S122] - Maxwell, Tice, Snow: That Old-Time Religion,The Book Tree, p44
[S123] - Churchward, Albert: The Origin & Evolution of Religion, p 282, 366
[S124] - Massey, Gerald.: The Historical Jesus and the Mythical Christ, The Book Tree, . Pages 1-10
[S125] - Massey, Gerald.: Lectures, A & B, p 7-8
[S126] - Acharya S.: The Christ Conspiracy, Adventures Unlimited Press, 1999. p.265-274
[S127] - Wells, G.A.: Who was Jesus?, Open Court 1991 p179
[S128] - Jackson, John: Christianity before Christ, AAP, p. 109-118
[S129] - Budge. Sir. E.A. Wallis: The Gods of the Egyptions Vol I, Methuen and Co. p566-599
[S130] - Churchward, Albert: The Origin & Evolution of Religion, p 394-403
[S131] - Doane, Thomas.: Bible Myths and Their Parallels in Other Religions, p. 122,190,213,222,256,327,363,476,484
[S132] - Acharya S.: The Christ Conspiracy, Adventures Unlimited Press, 1999. p.115-116
[S133] - Jackson, John: Christianity before Christ, AAP, p. 110-112
[S134] - Massey, Gerald.: The Historical Jesus and the Mythical Christ, The Book Tree, . Pages 32-35
[S135] - Massey, Gerald.: Ancient Egypt The Light of The World ,Cosimo Classics, Page 663-671
[S136] - Acharya S.: The Christ Conspiracy, Adventures Unlimited Press, 1999. p.237-239
[S137] -Walker, Barbara: Women's Encyplodia of Myths and Secrets, p. 315
[S138] -Thompson, R. Campbell (tr. by ): The Epic of Gilgamish, 1928
[S139] - Budge. Sir. E.A. Wallis: The Babylonian Story of the Deluge and the Epic of Gilgamish, 1929
[S140] - Teeple, Howard M.: The Noah's Ark Nonsense, Religion and Ethics Institute, 1978
[S141] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, Exodus 2:1-10
[S142] - Blavatsky, H. P.: The Secret Doctrine Vol 1, p 319-320
[S143] - Acharya S.: The Christ Conspiracy, Adventures Unlimited Press, 1999. p.241-243
[S144] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, Exodus 20:2-17
[S145] - Doane, Thomas.: Bible Myths and Their Parallels in Other Religions, p. 55-61
[S146] - Acharya S.: The Christ Conspiracy, Adventures Unlimited Press, 1999. p.241
[S147] - Doane, Thomas.: Bible Myths and Their Parallels in Other Religions, p. 60
[S148] - Graham, Lloyd, Deceptions and Myths of the Bible, Citidel, 1991, p. 147
[S149] - Massey, Gerald. :Ancient Egypt The Light of The World ,Cosimo Classics, Pages 526-528
[S150] - Budge. Sir. E.A. Wallis: The Book of the Dead, Gramercy, Chapter CXXV
[S151] - Doane, Thomas.: Bible Myths and Their Parallels in Other Religions, p. 319-321
[S152] - Budge. Sir. E.A. Wallis: The Book of the Dead, Gramercy, p66
[S153] - Budge. Sir. E.A. Wallis: The Book of the Dead, Gramercy, Chapter CXXV
[S154] - Massey, Gerald. :Ancient Egypt The Light of The World ,Cosimo Classics, p99-148
[S155] - Massey, Gerald. :Ancient Egypt The Light of The World ,Cosimo Classics, p84, 197-198,200, 202, 213, 215
[S155] - Massey, Gerald. :Ancient Egypt The Light of The World ,Cosimo Classics, p888-893
[S156] - Doane, Thomas.: Bible Myths and Their Parallels in Other Religions, p. 181-205
[S157] - Maxwell, Tice, Snow: That Old-Time Religion,The Book Tree, p51-53
[S158] - Massey, Gerald. :Ancient Egypt The Light of The World ,Cosimo Classics, p942, 951-952
[S159] - Doane, Thomas.: Bible Myths and Their Parallels in Other Religions, p. 85-87
[S160] - Massey, Gerald. :Ancient Egypt The Light of The World ,Cosimo Classics, Book 4, p149-196
[S161] - Massey, Gerald. :Ancient Egypt The Light of The World ,Cosimo Classics , p92 180, 192, 26-266
[S162] - Acharya S.: The Christ Conspiracy, Adventures Unlimited Press, 1999. p.237-239
[S163] - Massey, Gerald. :Ancient Egypt The Light of The World , Cosimo, p130, 228, 274, 584-585, 859, 870, 880
[S164] - Olcott, William Tyler : Suns Lore of All Ages, The Book Tree, 1914. chapter IX
[S165] - Bonwick, James: Egyptian Belief and Modern Thought, C. Kegan, 1878, p.237
[S166] - Massey, Gerald. :Ancient Egypt The Light of The World ,Cosimo Classics, p888, 797 [* also see S163]
[S167] - Martyr, Justin: First Apology / The Apostolic Fathers: Martyr and Irenaeus by Philip Schaff. Eerdmans Pub.
[S168] - Martyr, Justin: I Apol., chs. xxi, xxii; ANF. i, 170; cf. Add. ad Grace. ch. lxix; Ib. 233.
[S169] - Freke & Gandy: The Jesus Mysteries, Three Rivers Press, Chapter 3 -"Diabolical Mimicry"
[S170] - Doane, Thomas.: Bible Myths and Their Parallels in Other Religions, p. 466-507
[S171] - Churchward, Albert: The Origin & Evolution of Religion, p 404-409
[S172] - Carpenter, Edward: Pagan and Christian Creeds, DODO Press, Chaper II & III
[S173] - Massey, Gerald. :Ancient Egypt The Light of The World ,Cosimo Classics, p563-622
[S174] - Acharya S.: Suns of God , Adventures Unlimited Press, 2004. Chapters II, III, IV
[S175] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, Gen. 30:22-24
[S176] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, Matt. 1:18-23
[S177] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, Gen. 42:13
[S178] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, Matt. 10-1
[S179] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, Gen. 37:28
[S180] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, Matt. 26:15
[S181] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, Gen. 37:26-27
[S182] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, Matthew 26:14-15
[S183] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, Gen. 37:28
[S184] - King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman, Matthew 26:15
[S185] - Murdock, D.M. - Who was Jesus?, Steller House Publishing, Chapter "Extrabiblical Testimony"
[S186] - Remsburg, John E.: The Christ Myth, Nuvision Pub, p 17-30
[S187] - Freke & Gandy: The Jesus Mysteries, Three Rivers Press, p. 133-139
[S188] - Doherty, Earl: The Jesus Puzzle, A&R,p78
[S189] - Acharya S.: Suns of God , Adventures Unlimited Press, 2004. p381-388
[S190] - Doherty, Earl: The Jesus Puzzle, A&R, Chapter 2
[S191] - Freke & Gandy: The Jesus Mysteries, Three Rivers Press, Chapter 7
[S192] - Murdock, D.M. - Who was Jesus?, Steller House Publishing, 2005
[S193] - Remsburg, John E.: The Christ Myth, Nuvision Pub, Chapter 1
[S194] - Allegro, John - The Dead Sea Scrolls and the Christian Myth, Prometheus Books, 190-203
[S195] - Massey, Gerald. : Lectures- Gnostic amd Historic Christianity,Cosimo Classics, p. 73-104
[S196] - Freke & Gandy: The Jesus Mysteries, Three Rivers Press, p 89-110, 253-256
[S197] - Acharya S.: The Christ Conspiracy, Adventures Unlimited Press, 1999. p.340-342

September 29th, 2009

Oh my story is not the oldest of it's kind.
I was too touched to see you clearly, far too young to realize I had loved so dearly you, who's world I had designed, but the sweet smoke came with mirrors and it brought tears to my wide eyes.
Dying just to see you...dying since I misconstrued your blue heart, black eyes, feigning falling, words I won't forget.
I died right when I saw you while you shared that cigarette.

Oh I saw you every time I closed my eyes, in the Hughes film I had scored, produced and starred in, in my mind.
I could recite you, well, I'd written every line... but you strayed far from my flawless script on which I'd spent a lifetime!
Falling over dead. Dying since I had misread your blue heart, black eyes, feigning falling, words I won't forget. I died right when I saw you while you shared that cigarette.

September 28th, 2009

Gloria Steinem quotes

Add to Memories Tell a Friend
One big dark room
• I have met brave women who are exploring the outer edge of human possibility, with no history to guide them, and with a courage to make themselves vulnerable that I find moving beyond words.

• The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn.

• The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.

• The authority of any governing institution must stop at its citizen's skin.

• A pedestal is as much a prison as any small, confined space.

• This is no simple reform. It really is a revolution. Sex and race because they are easy and visible differences have been the primary ways of organizing human beings into superior and inferior groups and into the cheap labour in which this system still depends. We are talking about a society in which there will be no roles other than those chosen or those earned. We are really talking about humanism.

• Law and justice are not always the same. When they aren't, destroying the law may be the first step toward changing it.

• We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters.

• We know that we can do what men can do, but we still don't know that men can do what women can do. That's absolutely crucial. We can't go on doing two jobs.

Roads by Portishead

Add to Memories Tell a Friend
One big dark room
Ohh, can't anybody see
We've got a war to fight
Never found our way
Regardless of what they say

How can it feel, this wrong
From this moment
How can it feel, this wrong

Storm...in the morning light
I feel
No more can I say
Frozen to myself

I got nobody on my side
And surely that ain't right
Surely that ain't right

Ohh, can't anybody see
We've got a war to fight
Never found our way
Regardless of what they say

How can it feel, this wrong
From this moment
How can it feel, this wrong

How can it feel this wrong
From this moment
How can it feel, this wrong

Ohh, can't anybody see
We've got a war to fight
Never found our way
Regardless of what they say

How can it feel, this wrong
From this moment
How can it feel, this wrong

September 24th, 2009

My friend
You're always the last one to leave those dimly lit rooms
Making sure the last glass makes its way to the table empty
And every bottle in the place
Has been upside down at least a few times
What a waste
Is this what's left of you these days?

You're not 18
Anymore, five years should have been enough time
For you to grow up and get over this...
It's Not too cool
To be throwing up all morning sick
From what you might've done or done it with

And I swear
If I could take your pain and frame it
And hang it on my wall
Then maybe you would never have to hurt at all
I'm painting pictures in red and blue
A portrait bruised, just like you
But now you're walking away

You're not 18
anymore, five years should have been enough time
For you to grow up and get over this
It's not too cool
To be throwing up all morning sick
From what you might've done

When is enough
finally enough?
When the hang-ups and the heartbreaks get you past
All failures and bad breaks
Just accept yourself
And find something that brings you closer to complete

And These pictures in red and blue
A portrait bruised just like you
But now you're walking away

You're not 18
Anymore five years should have been enough time
For you to grow up and get over It
It's Not too cool
To be throwing up all morning sick
From what you might've done or done it with

When is enough
finally enough?
When is enough
finally enough?
When winter falls next year,
I’ll be holding on to anything nailed down.
As for being patient,
With fate and all it's getting old.
And my mind is slowly changing.

I’m calling all my oldest friends,
Saying sorry for this mess we’re in.
And I’m waiting, waiting,
For the sun to come and melt this snow,
Wash away the pain and give me back control, control.

An angel got his wings and we'll hold our heads up,
Knowing that he’s fine.
We’d all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime.

Should we still set his plate?
Should we still save his chair?
Should we still buy him gifts?
And if we don’t did we not care?

It makes you think about the life you've led,
The shit you’ve done, the things you've said,
And its grounding, grounding.
I’ve been feeling 3 feet tall this month, hardly indestructible,
But the snow melts and the rhythm still goes on.

An angel got his wings and we'll hold our heads up,
Knowing that he’s fine.
We’d all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime.

Friends stay side by side.
In life and death you’ve always stole my heart.
You’ll always mean so much to me it’s hard to believe this.

These nights in vans,
These nights in bars,
Don’t mean a thing with empty hearts.
With empty hearts.

An angel got his wings and we'll hold our heads up,
Knowing that he’s fine.
We'd all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime.

Friends stay side by side.
In life and death you always stole my heart.
You’ve always meant so much to me it’s hard to believe.
So much to me it’s hard to believe.
So much to me it’s hard to believe this.

September 23rd, 2009

Pound my knuckles hard against the floor.
My head against the wall.
But I did this to myself.
Assume it's just not worth getting back up
So I'll blame it on bad luck and I'll shake responsibility.

I spent some time in a bad place at 18, wishing I could see something through clear eyes.
Do you ever wake up to realize your life is meaningless?
Does it give you strength or lead you to your grave at a young age?

Pound my knuckles hard against the floor.
My head against the wall.
But I did this to myself.
Assume it's just not worth getting back up
So I'll blame it on bad luck
and I'll shake responsibility, yeah.

It seems that when I ran away from my past, all my dignity, my faith, my pride got left back.
But now I think it's time I realize self pity's meaningless.
Though I'm 10 feet deep,
I'll claw my way back out from in my grave.

Pound my knuckles hard against the floor.
My head against the wall.
But I did this to myself.
Assume it's just not worth getting back up
So I'll blame it on bad luck and I'll shake responsibility
and say a hard life did this to me.

But now I realize I'd give anything I have to walk a day in my old shoes. Wondering what my first smoke would be like, my first fuck, my next fuck up. The next band that would change my life, and it changed my life, and it changed my life.

Pound my knuckles hard against the floor.
My head against the wall.
But I did this to myself.
Assume it's just not worth getting back up
so I'll blame it on bad luck. I'll shake responsibility
and say a hard life did this to me.

September 14th, 2009

Time To Pretend by MGMT

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One big dark room
I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw, I'm in the prime of my life.
Let's make some music, make some money, find some models for wives.
I'll move to Paris, shoot some heroin, and fuck with the stars.
You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars.

This is our decision, to live fast and die young.
We've got the vision, now let's have some fun.
Yeah, it's overwhelming, but what else can we do.
Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute.

Forget about our mothers and our friends
We're fated to pretend
To pretend
We're fated to pretend
To pretend

I'll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms
I'll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world
I'll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home
Yeah, I'll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone.

There's really nothing, nothing we can do
Love must be forgotten, life can always start up anew.
The models will have children, we'll get a divorce
We'll find some more models, everything must run it's course.

We'll choke on our vomit and that will be the end
We were fated to pretend
To pretend
We're fated to pretend
To pretend

August 25th, 2009

I have no time for the ridiculous, elitist groups on LiveJournal. I don’t need to “be accepted” into a LiveJournal group to know I am better than its members.

I do not and have not ever written anything with the intention of someone else reading it. If they do, they do. If they don’t, they don’t.

My pen is my mouth and the paper is your ear.

I began using online journals because my mother was not Tec savvy and could not break into an online journal.

I am not that conceded that I actually think people find my thoughts and feelings interesting.

Though, for my own benefit and amusement, I may begin using this to record some of my thoughts and feelings rather than only to display my remarkable talent for writing.

Not a single exulted writer or journalist started out on LiveJournal. If you think you are something, you should remember you’re nothing.

July 19th, 2009

If I try to lay my hands on you
I feel ugly all the time
I feel malice and careless and
Never just fine
You say you love me
You say you want this
You say that things
Are going to change
I agree
Yes they will
As I’m slowly led
Away
By girls who look me
In the eye
And let me see them
From below
No more girls with demons
No more girls with shit
No more girls who can’t fuck me because
They assume they know what I think
Just girls who I can touch
And hold their hips between my hands
Girls that take control
And girls that fuck like mad
Girls with affection and attraction
Who know it’s not just about bed
Girls to make out with
Girls to get off with
A girl who makes me feel fine.

One day you're going to hate me because someone else loves me better than you
And one day I'm going to hate you because you never even tried.


x

June 22nd, 2009

Pop

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One big dark room
Pop ... you were a remarkable, thoughtful, generous, loyal man.
You were reliable to a fault, someone we could always depend on.
You were there for everyone, always.

Summers on the beach with our bourbons was where we solved all the problems of the world.
Like you always said ... “life doesn’t get much better than this, does it?”
And Pop ... you know what? It doesn’t.

Bourbon will never taste the same without having you to share it with.
But we will give it a shot ... one for you ... one for me.

You showed us and told us, time and time again, how happy you were over the past 5 ½ yrs, and I truly believe that Pat is to be thanked for that.

We will miss you Pop, but our happy times will be with us forever.

We will see you on the beach for a swim.

Keep on dancing Pop.

We don’t cry because you have gone.

We smile because you were here.


Please lookout for Andrew in your travels. I will make sure Shane and Maddison never forget you, Pop.

May 27th, 2009

She Decorates The World

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One big dark room
She decorates her world
With words that
In the end
Only she understands
She wanders
Back and forth
Up and down stairs
Someone else put there

I never realised
This entire time
That I didn’t put that fan up there
That this shit isn’t mine
Seconds ago
My mind was clear
As I rode on through the sound of trains and traffic
A slight touch, a mere
Substitute for what I want
With you
Was all I felt at the time

If I could crawl under this light and
Hide away from you
I could hide away all the memories
Too
And while I’m down there
I’ll look for those affections missed
I wrote a list
Of all the things I love about you.


x

May 20th, 2009

Echoes Through My Mind

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One big dark room
Where to from here
Echoes through my mind and
Past my eyes
Goes the last 3 years of my life
Somewhere
Out there
There is something going on that
I should be apart of

And it’s just a matter of time before
I’m able to move again
And get, get, get up and out
Of here
Steer clear of girls with blue eyes
And high
Expectations
Just look straight ahead and keep moving.

May 13th, 2009

Someone please!
Let's write a script that's made for me
That makes you people want to see me
I've got a wish, I've got a wish
That all of this was something special
I need a drink, I need a pill
No way I'll stop until you're sober
She's already said that I was on drugs,
Let's give some money to that bitch.

Or I could just get a real fucking job

I am a prick, look at me go
I could get lucky finding success, I'm a bitch
Imma go get some new expensive shit
All that I hurt, emotions they suck
I'll just tell people I don't give a fuck about that shit

Ain't nobody fucking with me, man
Ain't nobody fucking with me

Listen as the sound of my voice,
croaking it's drama across an orchestra of friendly faces
singing along their dying concern

Listen as the sound of my voice,
croaking it's drama across an orchestra of friendly faces
singing along, their dying concern to my bullshit

Where did our honor go? I think I know
We're always fucking each other in bathrooms at parties
Where did my money go? I spent it on blow
You know that I fucked all my homies ho's
Where did our morals go? I left them in Cabo
My parents can pay for the abortion, you know
Who has a plan? We hold out our hands,
and hope for a free ride to successful endeavors

the weak are the liars, something to bite
I am too cynical to say I don't give a fuck
the weak are the liars, something to bite
I am too cynical to say I don't give a fuck

I need money
I need clothes
I need women
I need blow
Something is very fucking wrong

Resting your head on your best friend's sister's shoulder
Your mother's job is to fuck all your neighbors
Bodies thrusting to the beat of our shame

Where did our honor go? I think I know
We're always fucking each other in bathrooms at parties
Where did my money go? I spent it on blow
You know that I fucked all my homies ho's
Where did our morals go? I left them in Cabo
My parents can pay for the abortion, you know
Who has a plan? We hold out our hands,
and hope for a free ride to successful endeavors

Give my regards to all you shady fucks
Thorn in my fucking side
Loyalty
Honesty
Trust
Respect
Humility
Sincerity
We are all so full of fucking shit
We are all so full of fucking shit

May 5th, 2009

Digital Bath by Deftones

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One big dark room
you move like I want to
to see like your eyes do
we are downstairs where
no one can see
new life break away
tonight I feel like more
tonight I
you make the water warm
you taste foreign
and I know you can see
the cord break away
cause tonight I feel like more
tonight I feel like more
tonight I feel
feel like more(tonight)
you breathed
then you stopped
I breathed then dried you off
and tonight
I feel like more
tonight
I was watching this monkey, this monkey watching me
An I needed a friend, or some company
Coz some days I just can’t flick the switch
Some days my skin just isn’t so thick
I’m just here and I’m just hearing
I get lost inside the endless wires
Helpless as the neurons fire
I’ll be up all night waiting for the punch line

If I’m losing my mind, one day at a time
Then I won’t hold my breath
(before the punch line)

So turn the house upside down
To find something worth thinking about
And patiently watch the walls close in on me
I stare into space until I see
It’s space that’s staring into me
We talk a while and we say our goodbyes

If I’m losing my mind, one day at a time
From talking to myself
If I travel through time, one day at a time
Then I won’t hold my breath, hold my breath, hold my breath
No I won’t hold my breath
I said I won’t hold my breath

If I’m losing my mind, one day at a time
From talking to myself, talking, talking
If I travel through time one day at a time
Then I won’t hold my breath waiting for the punch line...
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